Have you ever been mistreated by a person, who had things going for them such as looks, body and popularity?
Have you seen the assholes who mistreated months and years later, and they're not as hot as they used to be?
That has happened to me several times in my life, and (with the exception of seeing a person homeless), I've gotten some pleasure knowing that God had punished them for their actions.
A few weeks ago as I was heading towards the Circle of Sisters convention, I happened to see my former church/cult mentor and his wife heading towards me direction, and when I saw him, I was shocked to see how much he put on. He stomach was larger than mines, and he was walking wide-legged, as I crossed the street and watched him cross the street, all I could say was Karma's a bitch.
Last summer, I posted a blog about me being rushed to the hospital for chest pains and how members of a group I used to volunteer with had looked out for me as well as compared the difference between the support I received from them and the lack of compassion one of my former church mentors had for my needs. As I walked around the Javits, I often thought of the way K* mistreated me.
When he told me that he was going to be my DP, things started off good as in most relationships. We had gotten to know each other and I would ask him for his opinons about things, and though I did appreciate his input, by the second month, I had began to noticed his lack of sensitivity.
I had called him to inform him that I wouldn't be able to attend service because of an painful ear infection. "Jesus suffered more pain than you and you need to be at service" he told me
I was shocked. He wasn't being considerate of me being in physical pain to the point where I was holding my head and feeling weak and sluggish.
"You don't understand what I'm going though. I don't wanna come to service being cranky and being in pain."
"I don't understand what you're going through, but you need to be at service because Jesus suffered a whole lot more than you did, and you can't miss service unless you're in a hospital with tubes inside you."
I went to service the next day ill, and got better after I ate, then we went to a friend's crib and afterwards, he said "the next time you get sick, remember the fun we had here."
By the fall he had become obessed with me converting people, that the only time he would speak to me was when I had a person studying the bible and/or attending service.
Towards the end of the year, I had lost two people who I was cool with. The day before service I was providing my friend comfort and helping her with arrangments for her grandmother's funeral, and that nigga called and wanted to know how I was doing. When I told him about the loss, he said 'sorry to hear that. Did you call J* to see if he was coming to service?" When I told him I didn't he wanted to know why, and when I informed (rather reminded)him that I losted a family friend and I was helping with funeral arrangements, that ass didn't show anytype of sympahty what so ever. "You're supposed to be doing your follow ups. Don't use your friends' grandmother's death as an excuse" with an attitude.
I couldn't believe he stooped that low and said that. A few days later he wanted to know what my plans for New Years day and when I informed him that my classmate was murdered and I was meeting with the classmates, did he offer any sympathy? No. He told me to take Phillipe* a Latin clone of his with me and to share our faith and invite the class out to service. I did ask Phillipe* to come with me, but when the class learned that our friend's killer was captured, we were speechless, angry and sad. I couldn't even began to think about inviting anybody out. Especially when I learned that her wake was going to be the same place and time as my friend's grandmother's.
Throughout the year, our relationship had became very business-like. He also began to give me the Sandra Clark from 227 treatment by greeting everybodyelse with hugs, while he would give me an occasion pat on my back and shoulder. I noticed that he began to show favortism for other members in our bible group. He forced and guilted me into sitting a bible study with a student they were trying to convert despite me informing him that I had an upset stomach (which in reality was a slight case of food poisoning), but when Phillipe was suffering from a stomach virus, not only did he allow him to miss a week of service and recuperate, he told me to give him a call to lift his spirits. He also got mad at me for applying for government aid, but when his wife was laid off, he told her to apply for unemployment benefits. He really showed his true colors when I told him that I was going to bring a salad to our park service, because like the sisters, I needed a break since I was doing most of the cooking.
The incident that still upsets me was the day we had a physical altercation on campus.
I had gone down to the basement in the student lounge building, and I happened to see Kyle finishing conducting a bible study. I went over to him to see what was going on as far as the activities for bible talk. I'm not sure whether that jackass was having PMS that day or what, but the way he greeted me was not Christ-Like.
"Did Ollie* tell you about the study?" he asked.
"No" I replied.
"Well how you know I was down?!!"
I couldn't beleive how indignent he was acting. First of all, I wasn't even looking for him, and second, I didn't even know he was on campus that day. I began to pick up a vibe taht something dramatic was about to happen, and I was right. It did. After Ollie came to speak to him, Kyle* wanted me to do a sin and repentance study because I looked down, he (like most legalistic leaders) assumed that I was involved masturbating, getting my freak on outside of the chruch.
"I know something is wrong because you can't even look me in the eye" he said.
(I do have problems maintaing eye-contact with people due to my shyness.
He began to yell and when I looked at the clock and saw that it almost 2, I told him that I had an doctor's appointment, and I had no time to argue with him and as I began to leave, that nigga grabbed me!!
"GET OVER HERE!" He screamed as grabbed my arm.
I was shocked. I got mad and pulled away from him, and when I did that, he got more angry and started saying "You're pulling away from me?!! I'm afraid for you!!"
I went outside and I became Frozen. I didn't know whether to leave or speak to him. I just stood between the mensroom and door paralyzed with confusion and fear as he continued to scream at me.
A few mintues later, one of the female student aids approached me and wanted to know if I was OK
"What's the matter" she asked.
"Are you alright? Please don't cry"
She then stormed over to Kyle* to confront him.
"Alright I wanna know what's going on! He looks like he's about to cry. I wanna know what's going on? What' the problem? What did you do to him?"
"I don't know!" Kyle* replied in an angry tone of voice.
While she was intergating him, I flew out of the lounge and went to my appointment. Later that evening, he called me and told me that was the last time I was going to embarass him. He then said that I was a guy who as on his Heaven, and that we needed to stop arguing and get along.
Did that happened? No. Things remained the same, and it had gotten to the point where I couldn't trust him. I also began to hate him.
The thing that made me transfer to another minstry was the night I (unknown to him) almost smacked him.
Me, him, Phillpe* and Ollie* had went to the movies and to the pizza shop, and when Kyle* wanted to know how was things going as far as studies and covnerting people, I told him that I bumped into a guy who was interested. He wanted to know why didn't I told him.
I forget.
Instead of being cool with it, he had a hissy fit and said that I should have answered him a certain way. This bitch had began to push my buttons and adding insult to injury was Ollie and Phillipe telling me not to be angry with him and to express my feelings.
I told Kyle that he wasn't being fair when I told him that I was only making salad for the park service. I had reminded him that I was cooking for all the services, and that I was tired and I needed a break and he said that he understand how I felt, but the meal wasn't complete. And that when he asked me what I brought, I said salad in a firm tone of voice.
I also told him that he wasn't being respectful to me and that I was getting bad vibes from him and that's when Ollie and Phillpe sided against me by saying that I shouldn't be going by my feelings and I couldn't be getting mad at Kyle, because he was the bible talk leader. He also said that I needed to be grateful about how Kelvon* was patient with me when I was doing a particualar study. That had nothing to do with me and Kyle's issues. I was so hurt and mad that I stormed out the pizza shop and stood outside to get some air. When Kyle and Phillipe approached me, he wanted to know if I wanted to be a disciple. I told him yes.
"Are you sure it's the right thing to do?"
"Yes" I answred.
That bitch then smirked and continued to talk to his clone. I got so mad that I was about to slap the shit out of him, but something stopped me from doing so. I calmed down and said to myself, let me transfer to Harlem before I wind up hurting him.
A month later, I transfered to the Harlem sector of the cult, and though we patched up, whenever I saw him, I still felt uncomfortable around him to the point where I couldn't trust him. I did however decided that since we were moving into the year 2000 to be the mature one and rebuild a decent friendship and when I made that suggestion, he was like "whatever!" That was it for me. But not for him. The following year, he began to call me to ask information about the Tae-Kwon-Do and areobics classes I was taking. Funny thing was Phillip was enrolled for a week, but left, but I never told anybody I was taking areboics. (Things that make you go hmmm). By 2002, I had left the cult and was focusing on my education and moving on with my life, and the following year, I bumped into him one evening.
He had told me that he was going steady with this sister (the one he told to apply for unemployment) and that he was getting married and that he wanted me to be there the day he got hitched. "Let me have your number" he asked in a commanding tone of voice.
"Is your number the same?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Alright. I see you later" I said as I left the computer lab and headed home.
I hadn't seen him since late 2001 and I couldn't believe he had the audacity to tell me that he wanted me to be at his wedding. I was moving on with my life, and he was one of the last people I expected and ever wanted to see. Well it seemed that God had also wanted him out my life as well, and a few weeks later, he gave me the strength move on.
I was in the student lounge center at a table with D* a fellow student having a late lunch when Kyle walked in and said hello to me.
I waved as he sat at the table with some sisters. I was about to get ready to head to my Latin studies class when he approached me saying he wanted to speak to me. I told him that I was on my way to class.
"It only take 5 minutes" he said.
"I have to head to class" I replied.
Sensing that things was about to get serious, D* excused himself and told me that he would holla at me later. Kyle was adamant that he speak to me and it seemed that he wasn't gonna take no for an answer.
"I'll walk out with you" he said after I told him I had to be at class.
We left the dining area and that's when he started to accuse me of greeting him with waves everytime he saw me.
I knew he was lying because I only saw him once and had to greet him with a wave because I was running late for class. The second time I saw him which was this day I had food in my mouth and I wasn't gonna talk with a mouth full of food.
That's when I told him that I was moving on with my life and was cutting certain people out my life.
He didn't catch the hint.
I told him that we needed to go our seperate ways.
He was shocked. He asked me did I leave the chruch and I finally told him yes.
"Just because you left the chruch doesn't mean I think of you any differently. I still think you're a great guy. You used to keep me up on the latest music. Did I do anything to you?"
I knew that I couldn't remind Kyle of how he treated me because he would have denied and/or justified his actions, and I wasn't in the mood for another episode of an arguement we had in the staircase in the summer of 1997.
"Let's just say that during my last months in Brooklyn in 1998, we did not have a good relationship" was all I could say to get this over with.
This reminds of me of how Puffy felt when Faith Evans told him to let her out of her contract. He was shocked, and tried to get her to stay, but when she informed him that she was serious, he accepted her decision and honored her request, and things between them were peaceful.
It was the total opposite for me and Kyle. He still kinda acted like an moron when I told him we needed to go our ways.
"Can I say hello to you?"
"If you want to?"
"Can I ask you about the latest music?"
"If you want to"
He shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Though I was releived that he wasn't going to be a part of my life, I decided to congraulate him on his upcoming wedding and wished him the best. Was he grateful? That bitch wasn't.
He laughed and said thank you in a nasty tone of voice and walked away.
I wanted to run behind him and slap him, but I chose not to. I left the building, went to class, came home and spoke to several friends about what happened and they were happy that I severed ties with him, but they were also shocked, pissed and appauled for his behavior. I knew that God was going to handle him in his own time and way, and he did.
A few months after I left Brooklyn, he started going out with this sister he had been pursuing, and it didn't last long. Seeing how much weight he put on gave me some comfort and justification that his mistreatment was punished. He used to have an average built and he used to be working out at his home and dressing sharp. I also thought of the times when he wanted me to do things when I was under the weather, and the few times when I told him I had to go home due to illness and he would tell me to go home with an attitude. I'm now blessed with several people who look out for me and if they see or sense I'm tired or under the weather, they'll let me know that I need to take it easy and get some rest.
Songs played and inspired for this post
GOD DON'T LIKE UGLY
PERFORMED BY ROBERTA FLACK
WRITTEN BY GWEN GUTHRIE
PRODUCED BY ROBERTA FLACK AND ERIC MERCURY
1980 ATLANTIC RECORDS
THE POWER OF GOODBYE
PERFORMED BY MADONNA
WRITTEN BY MADONNA & RICK KNOWELS
PRODUCED BY MADONN, WILLIAM ORBIT AND PAT LEONARD
1998 MAVERICK RECORDS
KARMA
PERFORMED BY ALICA KEYS
WRITTEN BY ALICIA KEYS, TENISHA SMITH & KERRY BROTHERS, JR
2003 J RECORDS
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