Ra SHAWN-DA-PROFESSOR

Ra SHAWN-DA-PROFESSOR

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

COPING

Last Sunday, while I was in the spa, I received a message from my moms saying that my surviving grandmother was in the hospital. I called to find out what happened and she informed me that my aunt Linda had called to let us know that my grandmother (my father's mother) had been hospitalized and she was coming to see her this week. As soon as I got home, my mother gave him her hospital room number and two days later, I called to see how she was doing. She sounded well, but a little tired. I told her I would visit her the next day, so my aunt Shirley gave me instrucitons on how to get there, and I made my journey the following day to see her, and the visit was pleasant; I had met one of my cousin's who for the first time as well as one of my younger cousins who made her some homemade dessert and shared it was us before her boyfriend had arrived.
Two days later, I received a call saying that she was moved to a nursing home, so I decided to visit her, and my friend BBOP came along to give his moral support. I visited her the following day and she cracked a joke with me after I told her that my friend who I was supposed to have brunch with became ill.
"So this was your second choice" she said as she laughed and layed in bed.
Though I'm grateful that she's in a place where's shes comfortable and being well taken care of, it's hard for me to see her not moving around like she used too.
She was always working, attending family functions and cooking (my grandmother is a Southern Lady and we all know how many southerns can burn in the kitchen).
As I think about this, I can remember seeing both my grandmothers (who loved each other and got along) working, but when my mom's mom died in 2004, it was totally unexpected. It had taken me a long time to mourn her death, because at the time of her death, I was getting situated with my apartment and trying to secure an internship with a magazine to fulfill my graduation requirments, and though it was a sad event, I was grateful for the people who showed me their love and support during my time of grief, with the exception of one individual, who's misunderstanding forced her to end our friendship. (I'll post that another time. Naw what the fuck). When I got the word that she had been rushed to the hospital, I called her asking for prayer. She told me she was on the phone with her girlfriend.
I told her the situation and asked for prayer, and before I knew it, I had two other people calling my cell trying to contact me, so I tried to click over to answer the other call, but unfortantely, I lost conenction due to the number of people trying to call as well as the location where I was at. She must have thought that I hung up on her on purpose and that wasn't the case. After I learned that my grandmother passed, I tried to call to ask for prayer but the phone kept ringing, and I received calls from others who I left messages with.
Two days later, I called to apologize and give her the update, but before I could finsih she got pissed and said not to call her anymore and hung up on me.
I couldn't believe it. When longtime friends asked how I was doing and was I getting any support, I told them about that incident and they were pissed at her behavior.
"How could she get mad at you when you was calling to give her the update about your grandmother?" one asked in disgust.
"You need to move on and let her be" another said.
"She lost a good friend."
One was like "I can't believe that she would think that you out of all people would hang up somebody. The problem with her is that she don't know that cell phones do have the tendency to go out, but if you want, you should send her an email and explain the situation to her and tell her why you was calling. But since you decided not to speak to you again, not only won't I call you, I won't email you anymore. And by the way, thanks for being there during my time of need."
I did think about sending her an email, but I decided not to and I decided that God would deal with her and as they say 'Those who curse you will be cursed and those who blessed you will be blessed.

My surviving grandmother has always had a good heart, laugh and an ear to listen. We would talk about life, transit, the world events and music. In fact I learned that she's a huge fan of The Temptations, The Four Tops, The Supremes, Whitney Houston, Beyonce and Alicia Keys.
I was in contact with her from time to time and when I saw her in 2005 it was right before the subway strike. I had gave her some pictures of me at my graduation from Brooklyn College as well as pictures from my California trip I took with the disabilities club a month later, and she remembered when I called her from LA to let her know the trip was fun despitehaving the roommate from hell. (I won't get into that). 3 years later I visited her on Mother's day and it was a nice and pleasant visit, though she had slight trouble walking. Seeing her in hosptial is sad because I'm not used to seeing her lying in a bed, and being up and about. It's depressing at times, but I know that I have to be strong for her because she was able to come up north for a better opporunity for herself, and she was able to witness Obama make history by becoming the first Black President of The United States. She loves Obama for his character and strength and looks (Looks like Grandma got good taste in men)!

Song inspired by this post

Grandma's Hands
Performed by Gladys Knight
Written by Bill Withers
2001 MCA Records