MY RENEWED LOVE AND ADMIRATION FOR THE BALLROOM SCENE AND COMMUNITY

I can’t believe it’s been 15 years since I began a journey to find myself, and being at the Latex ball gave me a perspective about life; being Gay is NOT A CURSE, OR MENTAL ILLNESS!!!!!!!!!!
It’s how God intended for me to be, and though it took me many years to finally accept myself.
I also got a chance to see the ballroom community in more of a positive light.
When I first came out, my friend at the time had me on a 3-way call with a dude named “M” who asked if I wanted to walk
“What you mean walk? I asked
“The ball”
“What’s a ball I asked?”
D had intervened.
“Chill. He’s just coming out”
M told me that a ball was place for me to walk and strut my stuff. I later learned that it was a place where many Gay kids go to express themselves creatively, by dancing and competing in many categories to win trophies and cash prizes. It’s also a place where they’re able to be safe from the hassles of ignorant ass homophobic closet people who have nothing better to do then waste their energy picking on our community for no apparent reason.
My friend D was a member of a house, but had left to focus on school, and help raise his sister after the death of their father, and while he told me about some of the positive aspects of the ballroom scene and what it meant to be in a house, he also told me about the negative aspects.
IF YOU’RE A MEMBER OF A HOUSE, PLEASE DON’T ATTEMPT TO READ ME!
THIS PARTICULAR BLOG IS JUST A REFLECTION OF MY EXPERIENCES THAT HAPPENED 15 YEARS AGO AND IT IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO THROW SHADE OR SHOW THE BALLROOM COMMUNITY IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT. I’M JUST EXPRESSION MY FEELING AND EXPERIENCES. LIKE MARY J BLIGE SAID ON HER 1995 RADIO HIT IF YOU LOOK IN MY EYES AND SEE WHAT I SEE.
He shared many stories about how many people he knew how got caught up in the scene and how they revolved their lives around it. Some were missing school, boosting and having cosmetic surgery to have the perfect attire and looks to win trophies and score points with many in the community. He also had told me he was glad that I decided to explore my sexuality at that age, because had I came out during my teenage years, the kids would have went all out to recruit me, but the reason why they wouldn’t recruit at that particular moment (I was 22 at the time and he was 18) was because I conducted myself as an adult and knew what I wanted to do with my life.
5 months later, I decided to go to my first ball, at Union Square. It was the winter time, and after I paid my admission fee, I went downstairs and saw a lot of kids (teens and college students), socializing, practicing their moves, smooching and passing out leaflets about the importance of safe sex. I also picked up bad vibes from many of the kids who gave me looks that said “who is that child and what is he/she doing here?” It did make me feel uncomfortable, and did hurt, but I managed to watch the event before I left.
Turn the clock ahead to the winter season of 2003-2004. I had began to attend weekly meetings and seminars at GMAD, and I began to see more House kids who had positive attitudes and looked out for people who they felt were being taken advantage of. I was sitting in the lounge area, and this playboy was sitting next to me and playing with my left ear. This high school junior named “G” who was sitting next to me, didn’t like what he saw, so he stared the dude down with a look that said “what the fuck you’re doing?” He then looked at me and I said it was OK. He then got out his seat and gave the guy another look that said.
“Don’t fuck with him bitch or I’ll whip your ass.”
A year later, I had gone back to GMAD to use the computer to kill time before I met my brother Garry for dinner. I had walked into the lounge area and I saw a group of people talking. I had no idea it was a closed group, but this bitch who I won’t even give him a fake name was extremely rude to me.
“This is a closed group and you got to leave” he said in a nasty tone of voice.
I left, and “G” who was at the front desk had asked why I was looking sad.
I told him how the bitch treated me and he got heated.
“I would have been like 'Bitch you need to mind your business'” he said
“Fuck being nice. That bitch need to his business!”
He then called “J” a part-time employee and house member and told him to come to the front. He arrived and when G told him what happened, he was pissed as well.
“That bitch’s a mess and got nerve” he said.
I was about to leave when the shady bitch said ’don’t let the door hit you when the good Lord spit.”
I snapped. I went into the lounge and read him. I left and then he said “Don’t let the door hit you twice.”
I ran back and read him again and the kids were laughing and clapping. Laughing because I was reading him in a nerdy way (I’m a nerd) and clapping because I had stood up to him. It turned out they wasn’t too found of his nasty attitude either and they were happy that somebody put him in check.
Two years later my brother had asked me to assist him on a documentary he was shooting about homophobia and the ballroom scene, and one day while we were having lunch, he was talking about his dancer named Pony, who’s a member of the House of Zion.
“This kid is talented and mad humble” Garry told me shortly before we filmed Pony’s segment.
One Friday night in October, I had met to help with the camera work, and I was captivated by Pony’s looks, spirit and personality. He was very upbeat, joyous and showed off some of his moves without boasting, and it was then that I began to gain a better understanding of the ballroom community, and after watching the rough draft of my brother’s documentary, I gained a lot of respect for the community. One day I would like to go “I said shortly after I watched the documentary, and last weekend I attended my first ball in fourteen years, and this time it the experience and energy was more positive and uplifting. I actually enjoyed myself and started to feel good about being a Black Gay/SGL man and I also learned how I made an impact on a person’s life. I bumped into Joseph Jefferson am employee of POCC who was honored with the Eric Christian Bizarre Leadership Award for his work with young Gay youth. He told that he enjoyed the CD’s I made him in March and that he was listening to them while got dressed for the occasion.
I was touched by the positive feedback to the point of crying inside.
About twenty minutes later, I left wearing a bunch of beads and condoms around my neck and I walked to Virgin Mega store to check out the latest music and DVD releases, and I had a great time, walking around with my beads and condoms. (I felt like TLC then). I then saw a member of the cult I was apart of, and I was shocked at how he greeted me.
“Sup” he said without giving me any eye contact.
Normally Philippe* would always greet you with a smile and in a smooth tone. That wasn’t the case. It seemed like he was angry and had a lot on his mind. I don’t know what he was going through nor I was about to find out. I wasn’t going to let his attitude ruin my good night/morning. (I’ll write about him in the next posting).
Being at the Latex ball gave me a greater perspective about life; there’s nothing wrong with being gay and it doesn’t matter whether you’re masculine, femine, or display both charetestics, Gay people are wonderful people (though we have a few bad apples that God also loves unconditionally) who are responsible for helping make the entertainment industry look and sound fabulous, and for being one of the first ones to make people award of the AIDS epidemic that’s still claiming many of our brothers and sisters, and that we’re going to be around forever.